Most of my life. "I'm a buffoon", LaBeouf said.
This chase for sincerity meant LaBeouf turned down roles for The Social Network, 127 Hours, and The Bourne Legacy, any of which would have made a big impact on the actor's career.
LaBeouf continued, "I don't believe in God".
In his first interview since his 10-week court-ordered rehab stint, the troubled 31-year-old came clean about the root of his rage - witnessing his mother Shayna Saide's rape at age 10. He froze, he said, and that has lived with him ever since, making him quick to get aggressive.
LaBeouf, who has a history of legal trouble, subsequently issued a public apology, insisting he was "deeply ashamed" of his behaviour, which served as motivation for him to work on his sobriety.
"It was me trying to absolve myself of guilt for getting arrested.I f***ed up".
LaBeouf is on camera saying sexually explicit, racially charged things about all of the officers he encounters, and calling them all by diminutive names.
"When I got to rehab previous year, they said I had PTSD. Zack can't not shoot straight, and bless him for it, 'cause in that moment, I needed a straight shooter who I couldn't argue with".
There is some silver lining as LaBeouf is gearing up to star in the upcoming role of hot-headed tennis legend John McEnroe for the film Borg vs. McEnroe, revealing in the chat that he doesn't enjoy the sport. LaBeouf apologized shortly after, but revisited the arrest in a new Esquire profile. "They're not strategic. They're a struggling m--f-- showing his ass in front of the world". "The truth is, in my desperation, I lost the plot". "Some guy bumped into my mother's auto with his vehicle in a parking lot, and my head went right to 'You need to avenge your mother!' So I went after the dude with a knife". "I came up to you asking for a cigarette, you dumb f-!"
LaBeouf said he took his mother to meet the rapper backstage shortly after West gave him a lyrical shout-out in his "Life of Pablo" track "No More Parties in L.A." - and that West requested several items of clothing to use for a pop-up shop. And it just felt fair. "He took all my fucking clothes". So I'm like, "Go for it, my guy".